You Only Live Once

You Only Live Once

For the last few weeks I have been attending the Wednesday night Bible Study at my friend's church. We have been doing a Beth Moore study on the book of Daniel, which has been excellent so far. The study has us dig deep into God's Word and brings up some very thought provoking questions. We are in chapter 2 of Daniel where Nebuchadnezzar has that dream about the statue that really shook him to the point where he threatened and bribed others to figure out the interpretation of this dream. So in the "homework" for this week, there was a question about if we have ever had a "spirit-striking dream" (I think that is how the question was said). 

Now I don't think that God has given me any prophetic dreams or anything. I think that God has said all He has needed to say in the Bible and that He is not going to give any additional information out in dreams. But I think that God can use dreams to stir our hearts a little. I have had several heart stirring dreams, dreams that have made me wake up in the middle of the night and cry out to God seeking forgiveness and seeking to repent from the sins in my life. When I have been very bitter and angry at certain people, I have had dreams that have made me wake up and realize that I need to forgive. When I have been falling away from God, I have had dreams that have made me reevaluate my life and have given me a new determination to get back in touch with God. It was really interesting that after having one such dream, that we are talking about powerful dreams in this Bible study.

A few weeks ago when I was extremely sick, I was trying to look at my throat in the bathroom mirror with a flashlight. I was trying to figure out if I had signs of strep throat or mono or something that would explain why my throat was sore. Instead of finding anything wrong with my throat, I found this little blackish, brownish dot on the inside of my cheek. If you truly know me, then you know that of course I completely freaked out. I thought I was dying of oral cancer, and so for the next day or so, I secretly held on to this worry that caused me great anxiety. For the next day or so, I actually thought that I had cancer and that I was going to die.

A few nights after this bathroom incident, I had my heart stirring, or "spirit-striking" dream. I had a dream that I actually had oral cancer, and that it had metastasized (I think that's the right word, but I didn't bother looking it up) and had spread everywhere in my body. There was no help left. No more treatments available. My body was deteriorating and I was literally on my death bed. My dream ended with me feeling a mixture of fear, anxiety, and extreme distress as I felt like my breath was being sucked out of me and darkness was closing in. My last thoughts were "I can't die now, I am so young, I have not gotten far in my life, I haven't done that much for Christ!"

You Only Live Once

 I know that kids these days used to (maybe they still do, I don't know what's hip anymore) say this phrase to justify doing stupid stuff all the time. Let me go out and get wasted because I only have this chance to. Let me go out and be promiscuous because I only have this life. Let me go out and drive 180 on the highway because why not, this is my only chance, etc. etc. etc. Going out and doing whatever you want because there is only one chance to, that's not the right sort of thinking. But you know what? We do only live once so we should make the best of it. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to go out and do whatever you please. I am saying that God gave us a purpose here on Earth and we only get this one chance to live out that purpose. We get only this one chance to serve and bring glory to God on this Earth. And not only that, it's such a short chance that can end unexpectedly. When God calls us home, our work here on Earth is done. We don't get a do-over, we don't get to come back and try to do things differently. This is our chance to lead others to Christ, to be salt and light in the world, to spread the Gospel. I don't think we will get to do those things in heaven. This is it. This is our time. And it's short and it can end at any time. 

Thankfully, I don't think I have oral cancer. Actually when I woke up from that dream I had this nagging feeling that I needed to go check my mouth again. I couldn't go back to sleep until I checked my mouth. When I did, that spot was no longer there. It turned out to be just a burst blood vessel I think. I chew on the inside of my jaw sometimes, so maybe that caused it. Whatever the case, it had healed and that worrisome dot was no longer there. I felt such relief and was finally able to go back to sleep, but even though I knew I was in the clear, I still felt the sobering thought of my mortality. I may not be dying from oral cancer at the moment, but I could some day. Or something else. I am going to die from something at some point. I am not dead yet, but my next second isn't guaranteed. I could die within the next hour, or next day, or next week, or not for another 50 years. Who knows? In the grand scheme of things though, our lives are short, wisps of smoke that can fade in an instant. So we should make the best of our chance to shine for Christ here on this Earth.

In my dream, in my final moments, I felt anxiety because I was about to meet the God of the universe, my Creator, and I felt like I had not served Him well. I thought of all the sin I was letting run rampant in my life, all the moments I should have told others more about the love of Christ, all the things I should have been doing. I know that no matter how much I do in life, I cannot gain love and favor from God, so that's not what I was seeking. But I thought of here's this Awesome and Incredible God who has done so much for me, who has showed me such great love, and what have I done to show my love for Him? Not Much.

My dream stirred me. It made me realize that I have been going through the motions and getting caught up with everything, but I haven't been really showing love towards my Heavenly Father. I haven't been the salt and light that I should be. There are some people in my life who probably don't even know I am a Christian because my faith has not shown very much. If I asked myself what have I done for God recently, I would come up empty. I feel like I have wasted so much of my life up until now, and that's a shame, because we only get this one life. That dream reminded me that my time is short, so I better kick things into high gear and get going on actively trying to be Christ-like and growing in my faith.

Life is too short to be wasting on pointless things. Life is too short for us to be going through the motions and not truly living out or faith and growing closer to God. We only live once, let's live it out strong in faith, shining bright!

Well, that's all she wrote. 

Gabby